What were you arguing about on the way? Have you ever had that question asked of you? What were you arguing about: Who is the greatest among you? Who is pulling his weight? Who has made the greater sacrifice to be a disciple? Who has made the most effort? Who has demonstrated the most commitment? Who has been unwavering and faithful? Who is most deserving? Whose preferences should be taken into account? Who is entitled to make the decisions? Who really belongs here? Who is in charge? Who is greatest among you?

And who is the least? Who needs constant guidance and never offers support? Who brings nothing to the table? Who adds nothing to the conversation? Who keeps asking for help? Who is flaky and inconsistent? Who is always late and always checked out? Who is just going through the motions? Who is faking it? Who is only in it for himself? Who is only in it to get what he can out of it? Who is just dead weight?

Is that something you’ve ever argued about in your marriages and partnerships? Is that something you brought up with your siblings, as you cared for ailing family? Or, did you ever feel like your parents and caregivers were resentful of you, of your neediness, and did you ever feel pressure from them, even as a young child, to just grow up?

Have you spent your life struggling to prove your worth to others? Have you ever conformed yourself to their standards just for their approval? And is that the kind of life you wanted to live? Is that the kind of life God wants us to have?

I think Christ hopes for us to lead a life that is more like his – welcoming, affirming, uplifting, and gracious. Each day we have another chance to keep the words of Jesus in our hearts. Each morning – this morning – we have occasion to commit to follow the Son of Man in our beliefs and in our actions, just one footstep at a time, on the long road of discipleship.

Maybe, on the way, we can learn to be disciples of Jesus Christ, rather than disciples of the patterns of approval and rejection we’ve learned since we were children. Maybe we can make room in our hearts to embrace the needy, the worthless, and the even the undeserving.

Who is needy to you? People going around asking for cash? Does it offend you that they would just stand there, rather than “get a real job,” rather than work for their own food, rather than contribute to society? Who is needy to you, because he needs supervision and care?

Who is worthless to you? Someone who can offer nothing to you in return for your kindness, someone whose company you don’t want to share, someone whose offer to help you refuse, someone who will cause more problems than solve, someone with no economic potential, someone who holds no assets to share? Who is worthless to you, because he shows no promise? 

And who is undeserving to you? What derisive labels have we used to vilify those who have legitimate needs in this world? What distance have we tried to put between those who have something to share and those whose wellbeing we are called – as Christians and as neighbors – to ensure? Who is undeserving to you, because she isn’t pulling her weight?

Maybe, on the way to a lunch with friends, or on the way to volunteering, or on the way to a grandchild’s school event, or on the way to a church meeting, or on the way to get groceries and the things we want and need, maybe, on our way through life, we can make room in our hearts to embrace the needy, the worthless, and the even the undeserving. Every day is another chance to make room for the people we’d rather ignore. Our whole life a long road of discipleship.

And it’s not just the people we meet along the way who need to be accepted. Maybe, we could also release ourselves from our own struggle for self-justification. Maybe we don’t have to seek others’ approval, in order to feel at peace in the quiet of the day. Maybe we don’t have to “just grow up” in order to feel like the place where we find ourselves can be our home.

Maybe, on the way, we could stop judging others who seem to us like they’re just dead weight. Maybe we don’t need to be so hard on them. Maybe we can look them in the eye and open our hearts to the possibility that their presence, their participation, their own identity, is of inherent sacred worth. Maybe they deserve to be counted and included, cared for and welcomed, without ever having to justify their existence to us. Maybe that’s what it means to have a Christian worldview. Maybe that’s what every church dotting the landscape should exhibit. Maybe inclusion and welcome, care and attention are the hallmarks of what a Christian nation would look like, instead of what others have been saying recently. Maybe that’s what it means to love our neighbors as Christ loves us (Eph. 5:2).

There’s a lot about the world that we need to unlearn, along the long road of discipleship. It’s my prayer that on the way, we can make room in our hearts to embrace the needy, the worthless, and the even the undeserving, because more often than we want, we find ourselves in the same position. And the good news is that we have already been accepted and uplifted by the One who gave himself for the world and also called us to follow him.

So may we all – the greatest and the least, the most needed, most giving, and most committed, the needy, worthless, and undeserving – may we all discover in God’s love for us a welcome unlike anything we can manage to make on our own. And may we help those around us discover and accept that love for themselves.

Will you help along the way? I pray you will. Amen.